It's The Final Countdown

With my days in America coming to an end, the stress bar has been lifted almost to the threshold maximum. I have never been so excited in my life, but also never been so scared. I have never done anything like this in my life and I am glad that I have friends and family who are backing me up in my decision on doing this. 

I figured I'd spending my remaining doing things as if everything was normal and nothing was changing. 

• I have my nephew's birthday I am going to.
• Baking about 50-60 cupcakes.
• Making food for almost 60 or more people.
• Cleaning my whole house.
• Doing clean-up yard work.
• Throwing a leaving party.
• Organizing and moving things around my room.
• Organizing my suitcases and carry-on bags.
• Waiting for my tickets and itinerary. 
• Helping my dad and his friend with yard work.
• Packing things away while packing my suitcases.
• Hanging out with friends and family.

It might seem like a lot, but at the same time it might seem like it's not a lot. I can do most of this in a day if I kept it pretty quick and did a good job. The party and making food is for a different day though. So I don't have to worry about that just yet. Everything else is on the agenda for getting done tonight and tomorrow. But I like doing all of these things. It helps keep my mind off of thinking about leaving my family and friends behind. 

Sitting here listening to my music, I wonder about my host family. Will they like me? Will they think that I am strange? What if they don't like me? What do it do to impress them? I can't think of these things... It will make me even more stressed out. And I can't handle the stress I've got as it is. 

As the final countdown begins, I surround myself with everyone that I know I am going to love and miss. I know that when I get there, I will have so much to say, but they're so far away.

14 Days Left

As I sat outside in the nice hot sun, I thought for a few moments and realized that I have two weeks left to spend in America before leaving to spend a year of my life in Sweden. I sat in the sun thinking of things that I could do with the remainder of my time. My list came short of a kids' Christmas list. I thought of so many different things that I wanted to do. But sadly knew I couldn't do them. So I had to scratch most of my list off and stay to the basics. 

• Visit my family and friends
• Pack everything that I need
• Get some needed sleep
• Study more Swedish
• Talk with other Swedish exchange students

My parents decided that throwing a party a few days before I leave would be the best way to say good-bye to everyone. I have so many people that I wish I could just never say good-bye to and have them come with me. But I knew that they couldn't leave and do the same thing as me. 

I think that having the party right before I leave is a wonderful idea. I can see and talk to everyone within a few days period of leaving. It felt nice to think that I would have so many people that I love and know come and see me before I leave.

I can remember having 58 days left to spend and do whatever I wanted to do before I left. With 14 days left, I feel almost paralyzed with so many different emotions. I want to cry because I am nervous and scared. I want to jump with joy because I have never been so excited in my life. I wanted to sit down and breath because my anxiety levels were sky high. I knew that this was typically normal for any exchange student. 

I just have to keep calm and be an exchange student. 

Going Through Changes

I've noticed some strange things in the past few days. One of those things is concentration. I noticed that I can't sit around and play video games for long because I will end up dying more, I make silly mistakes, and I can't remember what I was doing maybe on a certain level or area. Usually I can defeat a game within a few hours. Recently, it's been taking me longer. I figured out why I wasn't able to be my normal self. My brain is stuck thinking about what is going to happen in Sweden. The memories, friends, place, and things I will visit, make, and see. 

Also I've noticed that I have become more stressed. After having to start pack for a year, start telling your friends and family good-bye, picking out paint for my room for the new host kid, buy a folder to hold important documents, talking to your host family about customs and rules, get your host family gifts that are amazing, the wait of finding out your flight and visa information, and the wait of the departure date, It's all stressing and at the same time exciting. 

A final thing that I have noticed is that I am longing for acceptance. People that I have known for years aren't taking me leaving for exchange the way I wish they would take it. I wish they would understand that this is the best thing for me and it will be an amazing experience for me. I am going to have the time of my life and I will meet some pretty amazing people along the way. So why wouldn't they accept it?