I have been in Sweden for over two and a half months now. I thought I posted a link for everyone to read my new blog. But I didn't. Here is the address in case anyone wants to read my other blog.
http://swedishlifeforme.blogspot.se/
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
My Final Day in America
I want to explain and tell everyone how I feel before leaving for Sweden. I'm not really scared or nervous. I feel like it's another trip that I take with my mom and close friend. I am excited to meet my host family and my host sister. I never would have thought this day would come. I never thought that this day would have come.
It is sad though to have to say good-bye to everyone. I never would have thought I would had to do this so soon. I know that I wouldn't want to say good-bye to my father or my mother or my brothers. But I have to so I can learn and grow.
It is sad though to have to say good-bye to everyone. I never would have thought I would had to do this so soon. I know that I wouldn't want to say good-bye to my father or my mother or my brothers. But I have to so I can learn and grow.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
It's The Final Countdown
With my days in America coming to an end, the stress bar has been lifted almost to the threshold maximum. I have never been so excited in my life, but also never been so scared. I have never done anything like this in my life and I am glad that I have friends and family who are backing me up in my decision on doing this.
I figured I'd spending my remaining doing things as if everything was normal and nothing was changing.
I figured I'd spending my remaining doing things as if everything was normal and nothing was changing.
- I have my nephew's birthday I am going to.
- Baking about 50-60 cupcakes.
- Making food for almost 60 or more people.
- Cleaning my whole house.
- Doing clean-up yard work.
- Throwing a leaving party.
- Organizing and moving things around my room.
- Organizing my suitcases and carry-on bags.
- Waiting for my tickets and itinerary.
- Helping my dad and his friend with yard work.
- Packing things away while packing my suitcases.
- Hanging out with friends and family.
It might seem like a lot, but at the same time it might seem like it's not a lot. I can do most of this in a day if I kept it pretty quick and did a good job. The party and making food is for a different day though. So I don't have to worry about that just yet. Everything else is on the agenda for getting done tonight and tomorrow. But I like doing all of these things. It helps keep my mind off of thinking about leaving my family and friends behind.
Sitting here listening to my music, I wonder about my host family. Will they like me? Will they think that I am strange? What if they don't like me? What do it do to impress them? I can't think of these things... It will make me even more stressed out. And I can't handle the stress I've got as it is.
As the final countdown begins, I surround myself with everyone that I know I am going to love and miss. I know that when I get there, I will have so much to say, but they're so far away.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
14 Days Left
As I sat outside in the nice hot sun, I thought for a few moments and realized that I have two weeks left to spend in America before leaving to spend a year of my life in Sweden. I sat in the sun thinking of things that I could do with the remainder of my time. My list came short of a kids' Christmas list. I thought of so many different things that I wanted to do. But sadly knew I couldn't do them. So I had to scratch most of my list off and stay to the basics.
- Visit my family and friends
- Pack everything that I need
- Get some needed sleep
- Study more Swedish
- Talk with other Swedish exchange students
My parents decided that throwing a party a few days before I leave would be the best way to say good-bye to everyone. I have so many people that I wish I could just never say good-bye to and have them come with me. But I knew that they couldn't leave and do the same thing as me.
I think that having the party right before I leave is a wonderful idea. I can see and talk to everyone within a few days period of leaving. It felt nice to think that I would have so many people that I love and know come and see me before I leave.
I can remember having 58 days left to spend and do whatever I wanted to do before I left. With 14 days left, I feel almost paralyzed with so many different emotions. I want to cry because I am nervous and scared. I want to jump with joy because I have never been so excited in my life. I wanted to sit down and breath because my anxiety levels were sky high. I knew that this was typically normal for any exchange student.
I just have to keep calm and be an exchange student.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Going Through Changes
I've noticed some strange things in the past few days. One of those things is concentration. I noticed that I can't sit around and play video games for long because I will end up dying more, I make silly mistakes, and I can't remember what I was doing maybe on a certain level or area. Usually I can defeat a game within a few hours. Recently, it's been taking me longer. I figured out why I wasn't able to be my normal self. My brain is stuck thinking about what is going to happen in Sweden. The memories, friends, place, and things I will visit, make, and see.
Also I've noticed that I have become more stressed. After having to start pack for a year, start telling your friends and family good-bye, picking out paint for my room for the new host kid, buy a folder to hold important documents, talking to your host family about customs and rules, get your host family gifts that are amazing, the wait of finding out your flight and visa information, and the wait of the departure date, It's all stressing and at the same time exciting.
A final thing that I have noticed is that I am longing for acceptance. People that I have known for years aren't taking me leaving for exchange the way I wish they would take it. I wish they would understand that this is the best thing for me and it will be an amazing experience for me. I am going to have the time of my life and I will meet some pretty amazing people along the way. So why wouldn't they accept it?
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Honesty Truly is the Best Policy
I never truly took it that seriously that being honest with someone could truly help you. I learned my lesson with it and I'm glad that I did. Maybe next time I will be a little smarter and actually tell my parents what I'm doing, instead of sneaking around.
For the past weekend, my parents and family friends, Tim and Kim Aldighetti, have been camping at a campground that we usually go to. We made s'mores, breakfast, and dinners together. We usually do things like that together. But last night was a little different. Tim A. had the idea of slow cooking a pork loin covered in his secret recipe, and my dad slow cooking chuck roast covered in garlic pepper rub.
We spend hours and hours working on watching the meat and cooking vegetables. Finally 6:10 p.m rolled around, the food was finally done. Tim, Kim, Meredith (Tim & Kim's sons girlfriend), my father and mother, and I sat around the picnic table covered in the meat, corn, baked potatoes sliced with butter, squash with butter and maple syrup, and grand rolls with honey butter. As we sat there and ate the large and somewhat intimidating meal, I received at text from a friend. They wanted me to go into town and spend sometime with them. Me being me, said yes.
I told my parents that I was going to the movies to go see a very close friend. I knew if my parents knew what I was actually going to do, they wouldn't let me and I wouldn't want to not go and see the friend. I had my parents all convinced, my father drove me to the friends house, around 7:20. I walked towards the door, my father sat in his truck... waiting. Another person I knew opened the door and sealed my fate as he shut the door. I gave my friend a hug, even though we had seen each other on Thursday. I looked out the window to see my father still sitting and waiting in his truck.
As me and my friends hung out, time was slowly ticking away, but I was having fun as it did. Finally midnight came, everyone was tired. My friend and I went upstairs to go and sleep, as the other person stayed downstairs. We laid together and talked for awhile. Finally falling asleep what seemed like an eternity later.
I awoke at little after 5:00 a.m I knew that my parents would be driving through soon to go home and get ready for the day. I texted my father telling him that I had been up since 4:15 a.m, with the original friend I said I was with, because a health condition of hers had started to reoccur. He said that he would be around at 5:35 or so. I told him that it was all good.
Once my father and mother picked me up, the interrogation had begun. They both asked me a million questions in under 5 minutes. I had to think of lies to get them off of my back. I ran my mouth like a motorboat trying to think of things to say. Once we were back to my house, my father went on Facebook to check if the original friend had said anything about being together and/or the thing that we were supposed to be doing. He quickly realized that no we hadn't been hanging out and that I was lying.
He looked at me and asked only an one word question. And it was,
"Why?"
I looked at both my parents and told them the truth. I had to it was the right thing and I didn't want my parents not trusting me to do anything with my friends anymore. When I finally explained everything in detail to my father, he had a changed expression on his face and said,
"I'm glad that you told me the truth, but I'm mad that you had to lie about it just to go and see a different friend."
I knew exactly where he was coming from with it too. I knew that telling him what had actually gone down, was the best and only option I really had. After telling him everything, I felt way better.
I just want to throw this out there, this isn't a punishment from my parents. I wanted to tell everyone this story because it made me feel better that I didn't have to lie to make my father and mother believe that I was being a good kid. I might have at first, but I quickly realized that telling the truth got me and my respect level a whole lot further.
For the past weekend, my parents and family friends, Tim and Kim Aldighetti, have been camping at a campground that we usually go to. We made s'mores, breakfast, and dinners together. We usually do things like that together. But last night was a little different. Tim A. had the idea of slow cooking a pork loin covered in his secret recipe, and my dad slow cooking chuck roast covered in garlic pepper rub.
We spend hours and hours working on watching the meat and cooking vegetables. Finally 6:10 p.m rolled around, the food was finally done. Tim, Kim, Meredith (Tim & Kim's sons girlfriend), my father and mother, and I sat around the picnic table covered in the meat, corn, baked potatoes sliced with butter, squash with butter and maple syrup, and grand rolls with honey butter. As we sat there and ate the large and somewhat intimidating meal, I received at text from a friend. They wanted me to go into town and spend sometime with them. Me being me, said yes.
I told my parents that I was going to the movies to go see a very close friend. I knew if my parents knew what I was actually going to do, they wouldn't let me and I wouldn't want to not go and see the friend. I had my parents all convinced, my father drove me to the friends house, around 7:20. I walked towards the door, my father sat in his truck... waiting. Another person I knew opened the door and sealed my fate as he shut the door. I gave my friend a hug, even though we had seen each other on Thursday. I looked out the window to see my father still sitting and waiting in his truck.
As me and my friends hung out, time was slowly ticking away, but I was having fun as it did. Finally midnight came, everyone was tired. My friend and I went upstairs to go and sleep, as the other person stayed downstairs. We laid together and talked for awhile. Finally falling asleep what seemed like an eternity later.
I awoke at little after 5:00 a.m I knew that my parents would be driving through soon to go home and get ready for the day. I texted my father telling him that I had been up since 4:15 a.m, with the original friend I said I was with, because a health condition of hers had started to reoccur. He said that he would be around at 5:35 or so. I told him that it was all good.
Once my father and mother picked me up, the interrogation had begun. They both asked me a million questions in under 5 minutes. I had to think of lies to get them off of my back. I ran my mouth like a motorboat trying to think of things to say. Once we were back to my house, my father went on Facebook to check if the original friend had said anything about being together and/or the thing that we were supposed to be doing. He quickly realized that no we hadn't been hanging out and that I was lying.
He looked at me and asked only an one word question. And it was,
"Why?"
I looked at both my parents and told them the truth. I had to it was the right thing and I didn't want my parents not trusting me to do anything with my friends anymore. When I finally explained everything in detail to my father, he had a changed expression on his face and said,
"I'm glad that you told me the truth, but I'm mad that you had to lie about it just to go and see a different friend."
I knew exactly where he was coming from with it too. I knew that telling him what had actually gone down, was the best and only option I really had. After telling him everything, I felt way better.
I just want to throw this out there, this isn't a punishment from my parents. I wanted to tell everyone this story because it made me feel better that I didn't have to lie to make my father and mother believe that I was being a good kid. I might have at first, but I quickly realized that telling the truth got me and my respect level a whole lot further.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Realization
Last night seemed to bring many things to me. The biggest of them all was realization. I noticed that it was June 16th. I only had a half of a month left until it was July. After that, time would go by like nothing. My party would roll around then I would only 3 days left in the States. I thought of the people that would miss me, the birthdays, sports events, holidays, and parties I would miss. It might not seem worth it to many people, but I knew it is way worth it.
I realized that even though July 31st may seem far away, it truly isn't. I still have time to spend with friends and family, I can still have time to get ready emotionally and physically, I can learn more about what I will be doing next year, and I can have time to be ready for the adventure that is coming towards me.
I didn't want to leave so soon, but I know that I need to explore the world and see what else I could do. I'll be in Sweden for almost a year, then I'll be going on a Euro-Tour to see many different countries within Europe before leaving to come back to the States to see my friends and family. I think that going to Sweden, meeting different exchange students from different countries, going on the Euro-Tour, and visiting the different places, will open my mind to many different ideas. Maybe I will move to Europe. Maybe I will just visit Europe. Who knows?
Experiencing what I am going to do is going to be a life time in less than a year. So I am going to make sure that I live like there is no tomorrow and make sure that I have fun doing whatever I am doing, I'll experience everything that I can, and try things that I would never think of doing.
I realized that even though July 31st may seem far away, it truly isn't. I still have time to spend with friends and family, I can still have time to get ready emotionally and physically, I can learn more about what I will be doing next year, and I can have time to be ready for the adventure that is coming towards me.
I didn't want to leave so soon, but I know that I need to explore the world and see what else I could do. I'll be in Sweden for almost a year, then I'll be going on a Euro-Tour to see many different countries within Europe before leaving to come back to the States to see my friends and family. I think that going to Sweden, meeting different exchange students from different countries, going on the Euro-Tour, and visiting the different places, will open my mind to many different ideas. Maybe I will move to Europe. Maybe I will just visit Europe. Who knows?
Experiencing what I am going to do is going to be a life time in less than a year. So I am going to make sure that I live like there is no tomorrow and make sure that I have fun doing whatever I am doing, I'll experience everything that I can, and try things that I would never think of doing.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
It's All Coming to an End
I can't believe that in September, I went from thinking that I was going to stay in the same, small town and not doing anything interesting to going to a large, different city in Sweden. Being accepted as one was kinda scary when I got the call. My friends cried hearing that I was going to be one. I can only imagine what they are going to do at my farewell party.
I can't believe that my sophomore year of high school was coming to a close in less than 2 days. This year at my tiny school has brought so many great memories. But it has also brought some bad ones. I have overcome some of the strangest and amazing things for a girl my age.
Just in the past 8 months this is what I have been going:
October 2012- I was accepted as a foreign exchange student.
November 2012- I turned 16 and hit a phase of realization.
December 2012- I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts.
January 2013- Some of the cysts burst and I failed an exam.
February 2013- I was accepted to Sweden.
April 2013- My host sister contacted me while I was in Cape Cod.
May 2013- Started talking to my favorite person in the world
June 2013- I finish my Sophomore year of high school.
I realize that I only have about 48 more days left in America. And have decided to make a 30 item Bucket List that I can complete before I leave on July 31st. I want to include everything that I would have thought about when I should be in my normal high school with all of my friends. Thinking of ideas of what to do and who I want to do them with is going to be the hardest part of it all.
I know that having fun with my friends and family will make leaving just a little bit more harder. But I am ready for it. I have a support group of other exchange students from my home district and the host families. I am excited to go over and have the time of my life, but also I want to get the year over with so I can come back and enjoy my senior year with my friends.
I have one thing in mind that I know will want to make me want to travel back to Sweden many times. When it comes time for me to leave in July, I won't want to leave my native country, but I will want to go to Sweden to have fun and learn some new things. And when it comes time for my to return in July 2014, I won't want to come back because of the people I have met, the things I've done, and the experiences and memories I will have from Sweden, but I will want to come back to America to see my friends and family, tell them about my experiences, friends, and memories, and start a new chapter of my life where I am a new person with a new outlook on things.
Why can't I just leave for Sweden right now?
I can't believe that my sophomore year of high school was coming to a close in less than 2 days. This year at my tiny school has brought so many great memories. But it has also brought some bad ones. I have overcome some of the strangest and amazing things for a girl my age.
Just in the past 8 months this is what I have been going:
October 2012- I was accepted as a foreign exchange student.
November 2012- I turned 16 and hit a phase of realization.
December 2012- I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts.
January 2013- Some of the cysts burst and I failed an exam.
February 2013- I was accepted to Sweden.
April 2013- My host sister contacted me while I was in Cape Cod.
May 2013- Started talking to my favorite person in the world
June 2013- I finish my Sophomore year of high school.
I realize that I only have about 48 more days left in America. And have decided to make a 30 item Bucket List that I can complete before I leave on July 31st. I want to include everything that I would have thought about when I should be in my normal high school with all of my friends. Thinking of ideas of what to do and who I want to do them with is going to be the hardest part of it all.
I know that having fun with my friends and family will make leaving just a little bit more harder. But I am ready for it. I have a support group of other exchange students from my home district and the host families. I am excited to go over and have the time of my life, but also I want to get the year over with so I can come back and enjoy my senior year with my friends.
I have one thing in mind that I know will want to make me want to travel back to Sweden many times. When it comes time for me to leave in July, I won't want to leave my native country, but I will want to go to Sweden to have fun and learn some new things. And when it comes time for my to return in July 2014, I won't want to come back because of the people I have met, the things I've done, and the experiences and memories I will have from Sweden, but I will want to come back to America to see my friends and family, tell them about my experiences, friends, and memories, and start a new chapter of my life where I am a new person with a new outlook on things.
Why can't I just leave for Sweden right now?
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Wish You Were Here to See Me Now
I sat outside in the sun today... I was thinking about my best friend, Jeremy Ballou. It has been three years since I have seen him and since he has passed away. I thought about how he never got to see his sons graduate from elementary school, high school, or even college, he never will know about my big adventure, or how he never got to live a full life. Being deep in thought, I snapped back to the cold reality. One small, pain filled tear crawled down my face.
I remember the last thing I ever said to him. I wish that I had said something better. That I had at least said good night and/or said good-bye, and that I gave him a hug. But I didn't. And why I didn't was because I knew that he would be back tomorrow around 3 p.m. or 4 p.m. It was my mistake to think so.
As I sat outside, I also thought if he could see me now, know what success I had, and what I was going to be experiencing. Would he be proud? Would he be supportive? So many questions ran through my mind. Sadly I will never know the answer to them. I knew that Jeremy wasn't just important to me. He was to his mother, his brother, his children, his family, and his friends. But something about his relationship with me and my family seemed that, even though he had other people who cared, he mattered the most to us. I don't want to seem selfish, but it was true.
I don't want to seem like a girl about it, but I am a girl. I handle things differently than you or even my own friends and family. Something about him struck home to me. He was always there, good and bad times. Sadly he passed away before my grandfather did. I couldn't tell him how I felt or anything. I told him everything about anything. He knows secrets that no-one else will or ever know. And I think that the bond we had was what made him that important to me. I just wish that I had told him that before he left for good.
I know that I will see him someday. But deep inside, I know that he was ready, but I wish he didn't leave before the going got good.
I remember the last thing I ever said to him. I wish that I had said something better. That I had at least said good night and/or said good-bye, and that I gave him a hug. But I didn't. And why I didn't was because I knew that he would be back tomorrow around 3 p.m. or 4 p.m. It was my mistake to think so.
As I sat outside, I also thought if he could see me now, know what success I had, and what I was going to be experiencing. Would he be proud? Would he be supportive? So many questions ran through my mind. Sadly I will never know the answer to them. I knew that Jeremy wasn't just important to me. He was to his mother, his brother, his children, his family, and his friends. But something about his relationship with me and my family seemed that, even though he had other people who cared, he mattered the most to us. I don't want to seem selfish, but it was true.
I don't want to seem like a girl about it, but I am a girl. I handle things differently than you or even my own friends and family. Something about him struck home to me. He was always there, good and bad times. Sadly he passed away before my grandfather did. I couldn't tell him how I felt or anything. I told him everything about anything. He knows secrets that no-one else will or ever know. And I think that the bond we had was what made him that important to me. I just wish that I had told him that before he left for good.
I know that I will see him someday. But deep inside, I know that he was ready, but I wish he didn't leave before the going got good.
Monday, June 3, 2013
"Radical"
I just had a pretty good weekend. I got to go to Great Escape in Lake George, NY. I stayed at the Great Escape Lodge which is just across the street. I spent the weekend with some pretty amazing people. I spent all day Saturday at the park itself. After getting a pretty "radical" burn, I still had fun. I wish weekends like I just had would never end. I am excited to be home and able to talk to my friends again. There is one that I am the most happiest to talk to :)I got home today after school and knew that I had to do something rather than sit around. I remembered that before I left on Friday, I had gotten the supplies that I needed to make my "swaps" for my exchange. After glue piece after piece, I decided that I was finished for the night. I still needed to paint them. I can't release what they are going to look like until I have finished all 50 of them. Sorry :) I don't want to ruin the surprise.
I was sitting at my laptop earlier today, thinking about next year. Wednesday it will be about 9 weeks until I leave my friends and family, sit on a plane with a few of my exchange friends :), arrive in Taberg, Sweden, meet my host family, and start my new life. I remember telling my friends that it wasn't for another 4 months. Everyday that passes, another day is closer that I leave. I have never been so excited for something, especially something like this. I knew that I would do something like this in my lifetime, but I didn't except to meet amazing people before I left. A small piece of me wants to stay because of the people and what they mean to me, but I know that they will be here when I come back in 2014.
I sat down and listened to "So Far Away" by Avenged Sevenfold and thought for awhile. The artist singing the song is my friends and family, while I am the one they are singing about. I smiled for awhile, then I realized that I have to do this. I have been dreaming about this for years and it was going to come true. No-one could stop me or the dream from happening
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Hmmm What's Next?
Everything is starting to come together... In a way. My dad just left to get the last copy of my visa paper notarized. Everything else is finalized, signed, and ready to mail. But it seems like none of this would have happened without stress, excitement, and pressure. Of course, getting all of the information and signatures would seem to be the hardest part. But sadly it isn't.
The wait of hearing of your town, a host family, the school you will go to, or even what your life might be like, is a small piece of what you go through. Working on the visa paperwork is easy and in a sorts fun. But when you sit there and think about what you are going to be experiencing in a few short months, your mind just becomes blown away. Mine is blown when people ask me questions and I think, "how is this person going to get by without me around to do things for them?". Then it starts to become even more real.
I've been counting the days until my departure date. I chose July 31st, 2013 as my date, but sadly I think that might be changed by the company I am going through. But I digress. I have about 10 weeks left in America. Thinking about the time makes me acknowledge that I don't have much time left here. So I should spend it with friends and family, have a good time, and make more memories that I can tell my host families and friends. I mean I'm only going to be able to visit Sweden as a kid, get the memories to tell my family, friends, and children, and be like yeah I had the guts to do it without anyone I truly know there to help me.
As far as I know, I am excited, but yet nervous to go and leave. Maybe a year away from everyone I know will help me. But in the end, I can tell that this will be for the good.
The wait of hearing of your town, a host family, the school you will go to, or even what your life might be like, is a small piece of what you go through. Working on the visa paperwork is easy and in a sorts fun. But when you sit there and think about what you are going to be experiencing in a few short months, your mind just becomes blown away. Mine is blown when people ask me questions and I think, "how is this person going to get by without me around to do things for them?". Then it starts to become even more real.
I've been counting the days until my departure date. I chose July 31st, 2013 as my date, but sadly I think that might be changed by the company I am going through. But I digress. I have about 10 weeks left in America. Thinking about the time makes me acknowledge that I don't have much time left here. So I should spend it with friends and family, have a good time, and make more memories that I can tell my host families and friends. I mean I'm only going to be able to visit Sweden as a kid, get the memories to tell my family, friends, and children, and be like yeah I had the guts to do it without anyone I truly know there to help me.
As far as I know, I am excited, but yet nervous to go and leave. Maybe a year away from everyone I know will help me. But in the end, I can tell that this will be for the good.
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